自我麻醉 meaning in English

autonarcosis

Between the consummation of the sacrifice i had made for you and your return , a fairly long time went by when i needed to fall back on physical means as a way of preserving my sanity and of drowning my unhappiness in the life to which i had reverted
在我为您作出牺牲和您回来之间有一段很长的时间，在这段时间里为了不让自己发疯，为了在我投入的那种生活中去自我麻醉，我需要求助于肉体上的疲劳。